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Previously on Young Sheldon...

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What's going on?

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Are you Connie Tucker?

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A secret casino room?

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The cops shut me down.

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Well, let's get this
going again.
I'm listening.

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I was thinking
about Chuck E. Cheese.

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Grown-up people don't-don't
gamble to win a teddy bear.

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I'm trying to help you.

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You think that grown-ups

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are gonna gamble
for some stuffed animals?

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Yeah, that you're
buying back from them.

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It seems I owe you an apology.

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Come on in.

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When children reach adolescence,

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a cascade of hormones
are released,

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causing mood swings,
impulsive behavior

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and an unbelievable amount
of eye rolling.

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During this time of change,
members of the opposite sex

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who caught my sister's fancy
included:

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New Kids on the Block,

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Rufio from the movie Hook,

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and, oddly enough,

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our new Sunday school teacher,
Pastor Rob.

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Was Mary Magdalene
Jesus' girlfriend?

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No, just one of his followers.

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Yeah, Jesus didn't have
a girlfriend.

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Do you have a girlfriend?

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No. No, I don't.

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I don't have
a girlfriend either.

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All right.

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You and me, Billy,
couple of bachelors.

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Are you allowed
to have a girlfriend?

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In the Baptist church, yes.

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Pastor Jeff is married.

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And was married before,

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so he's had two wives,
but not at the same time,

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that's not allowed.

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Thank you, Sheldon.

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At least not anymore.

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In the Old Testament,
Abraham had two,

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Jacob had four,
and Solomon had 1,000,

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but those were largely
for political alliances.

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Fun fact: only 700
of those were wives.

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The other 300
were concubines.

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I wouldn't count on the Bible
for facts, but that was fun.

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So boyfriends and girlfriends
are okay?

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The way I see it, God is love,

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so if we love someone else

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in a committed relationship,

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we're feeling God.

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So, holding hands is okay?

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Sure.
What about kissing?

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Maybe at some point,
when you're older.

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And what exactly is third base?

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I'm thinking
it might be a good idea

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if we gave the kids a talk
about the facts of life.

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You mean like, S-E-X?

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Who are you spelling
that for?

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G-O-D.

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You really think
that's an appropriate topic

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for kids their age?

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Well, they seem to have
a lot of questions about...

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S-E-X.

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Sex, sex, sex.
Get over it.

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I just think that's a subject

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best left up to the parents.

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Glad you feel that way,

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because it was your daughter
who had the most questions.

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♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain

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♪ I bet I could be your hero

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♪ I am a mighty little man

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♪ I am a mighty little man.♪

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Even if...

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Missy had one
or two questions...

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It was a lot of questions.

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Doesn't matter
how many questions.

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We can answer them at home.

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I'm sure you can.

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I just think this is
our chance to get in first

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before they
learn it on TV.

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That is true.

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I flipped past MTV
the other night,

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and a song was on called...

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"I Wanna Sex You Up."

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What does that even mean?

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I turned it off

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before the young man
could clarify.

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Well, if you ask me, I think
it means he wants to...

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No one asked you.

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See? Even we have questions.
Why wouldn't the kids?

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I think they deserve
honest answers.

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You seem to know a lot
about children

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for someone who has
none of their own.

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So what's my

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title here?

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Manager? Supervisor?

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Your title is "grandson
who can go home now."

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What are you talking about?
We're in this together.

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I'm sorry, did you buy
these machines?

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No, but it was my idea how to
get them up and running again.

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And thank you. Now, go home
before I tell your mother

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you want to work
in a secret casino.

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Oh, yeah?

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Maybe I should tell her
you own a secret casino.

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Is that the way
you want to play this?

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Yeah, it is.

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Missy

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was asking about sex.

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What?

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You don't think that she's...

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No.

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But she's clearly
interested in the topic.

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That's it-- she's grounded
till she's 21.
George.

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Well, maybe it's good this
pastor wants to talk about it.

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I sure as hell don't.

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You're unbelievable.

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I had to do it with Georgie,
and it was a disaster.

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Well, here is a chance
to do it right.

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I have two words
for you: not it.

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Fine.

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You can be my assistant manager.

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Oh, I like the
sound of that.

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So, it's a deal?

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Well, hold on,
how much you gonna pay me?

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Did I mention
that assistant manager

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comes with a spiffy nametag?

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Does it also come
with a spiffy paycheck?

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How much did Dale pay you?

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Uh, minimum wage plus
five percent commission.

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I'll give you half of that.

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So, two and a half
percent commission?

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No, half of
the minimum wage part.

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What about a
percentage of these?

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Yeah, right.

137
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I'm serious.

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If it wasn't for me,
none of this would be happening.

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I'm your grandmother.
If it weren't for me,

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you wouldn't be happening.

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How about this:
no hourly wage, just a cut.

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What kind of cut you thinking?

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Five percent.
Three percent.

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Five.
Three.

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You're supposed to go in
the middle and say four.

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Why don't you say four?

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Fine, four.

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Two.
Come on.

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I'll tell you what,

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we're in the gambling business,
why don't we gamble for it?

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Okay.

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Great.
The number

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I'm thinking of in my head--
is it odd or even?

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How dumb do you think I am?

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In my defense,
you used to be dumber.

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Why don't you two
have a seat.

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In here?

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Did somebody die?

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No, I just want to talk to you.

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They're getting divorced.

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At least they waited until
one of us was in college.

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We are not getting a divorce.
Just sit.

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So, you two

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are both growing up,
and I thought

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that maybe it might be time

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to have a talk about...

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that and some of the things

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that go along with... that.

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What is happening?
I think she's trying to have

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the human reproduction talk.

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Oh, God.
Uh, speaking of God,

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He is very clear about
the do's and the don'ts,

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especially the don'ts.

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I'm not talking
about this with you.

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I don't think you'll have
any new information for me,

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but I'm happy to chime in
with biology facts.

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I don't have any questions.
I'm good. Can we be done now?

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So, you'll ask Pastor Rob,
but you won't ask me?

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I didn't ask you
'cause I know what you'll say.

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You don't know
what I'm gonna say.

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"It's a sin."
"You're too young."

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"Wait till marriage."

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Well, it is, you are,

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and you should.

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You can't be too young
if you're an aphid,

186
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some of them are born pregnant.

187
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I didn't do anything wrong.
I just asked some questions.

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Well, you can ask me.

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I'm not asking you
anything, ever.

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It's just her hormones.

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Would you like to learn more?

192
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When children
reach adolescence,

193
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a cascade of hormones
are released...

194
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What are you doing?

195
00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:18,786
Making sure you
don't run away.

196
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Why?
Because that's what happened

197
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the last time
you and Mom fought.

198
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I'm not going anywhere.

199
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Now, get out of here, creepo.

200
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Why did you get
so mad at Mom?

201
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I don't want to talk to her
about that stuff.

202
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It's so embarrassing.
Why?

203
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If you have to ask,
then something's wrong with you.

204
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But the topic was procreation,
and she clearly has procreated.

205
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Ew.

206
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:42,418
Hey. You got
a minute?

207
00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:43,941
Sure. Come on in.

208
00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:46,422
I just wanted to say,

209
00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:48,685
about yesterday, you were right.

210
00:07:48,816 --> 00:07:50,644
Oh.
I don't have kids,

211
00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:52,733
I overstepped my bounds,
and I'm sorry.

212
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:55,475
Thank you for saying that.

213
00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:57,302
Forgiveness five?

214
00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:59,217
Sure.

215
00:07:59,348 --> 00:08:00,349
Oh, come on now,

216
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:02,090
that didn't feel like
you forgave me.

217
00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:05,267
All right.
I'm feeling it.

218
00:08:05,876 --> 00:08:07,530
Okay, well, I'll let you
get back to it.

219
00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:09,837
Actually, um...

220
00:08:09,967 --> 00:08:12,361
I might have
overstepped yesterday.

221
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,450
In fact, I...

222
00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:16,670
think there might be some value
in the kids hearing

223
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:20,325
some of these things from people
other than their parents.

224
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Great.

225
00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:24,678
Hey, maybe it's something
you and I could do together?

226
00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:27,115
Oh, no, no, no,
this was your idea.

227
00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:29,726
Yeah, but you've got
way more experience.

228
00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:31,598
With kids, I mean.

229
00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:33,382
I know what you meant.

230
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:37,691
Plus, it would be great for
them to hear from a woman.

231
00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:39,910
So, either you or Peg, so...

232
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:43,523
Oh. I want to scare them,
but not that much.

233
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,350
So, you'll do it?

234
00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:46,917
Okay.

235
00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:49,877
I'll tell Pastor Jeff. I like
watching his face get all red

236
00:08:50,007 --> 00:08:51,574
when I mention S-E-X.

237
00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:54,359
Hey, yours does, too.

238
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,363
So, you're gonna

239
00:08:58,494 --> 00:08:59,843
give us your ticket,

240
00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:01,889
and we're gonna give you
the teddy bear.

241
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Why would I want a teddy bear?

242
00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,762
'Cause then we're gonna buy
the teddy bear back.

243
00:09:05,893 --> 00:09:08,504
But I said I don't
want a teddy bear.

244
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:09,549
I want cash.

245
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,072
You're gonna get the cash.

246
00:09:11,202 --> 00:09:13,030
Then why do you keep talking
about a teddy bear?

247
00:09:13,161 --> 00:09:14,597
'Cause this way
it ain't gambling.

248
00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:16,033
But I want to gamble.

249
00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:19,776
Well, gambling's illegal.
This is a gray area.

250
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,779
Just give him the cash.

251
00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:24,389
No, he's gonna get this.

252
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:25,521
I don't think he is.

253
00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:27,915
Listen to your Meemaw.
I don't get it.

254
00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:29,307
Just give me your ticket.

255
00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:34,182
Wow.
That is a nice teddy bear.

256
00:09:34,312 --> 00:09:36,314
I'd like to buy that from you.

257
00:09:43,495 --> 00:09:45,628
I don't think he got it.

258
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:47,325
And then Missy

259
00:09:47,456 --> 00:09:49,371
said it was embarrassing
to talk to our mother

260
00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:50,285
about reproduction.

261
00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:52,809
Interesting, yet the two of you

262
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:54,550
are living proof
she has at least

263
00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:56,596
a working knowledge
of the subject.

264
00:09:56,726 --> 00:09:59,424
That's what I said, then Missy
said something's wrong with me.

265
00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:02,689
Oh, I think
you're as normal as I am.

266
00:10:02,819 --> 00:10:04,081
Thank you.

267
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:07,737
Although, I have been called
an odd duck

268
00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:09,870
and, one time, a quirky turkey.

269
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,220
Those people
were probably jealous.

270
00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:15,615
You know, there's
some science to indicate

271
00:10:15,745 --> 00:10:16,964
that adolescents

272
00:10:17,094 --> 00:10:18,530
process embarrassment

273
00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:21,664
with a different part
of their brain than adults do.

274
00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:25,450
Really? So maybe Missy's right,
and I'm an outlier.

275
00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:26,974
Perhaps.

276
00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:30,107
Let's increase our sample size.

277
00:10:30,238 --> 00:10:33,371
Andy, would you
feel embarrassed

278
00:10:33,502 --> 00:10:35,635
talking about
sexual intercourse

279
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,245
with your mother?

280
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:38,463
Uh...

281
00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:40,161
Stammering, red-faced.

282
00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:41,423
He does seem embarrassed.

283
00:10:41,553 --> 00:10:43,555
Although,
he may just be embarrassed

284
00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:45,035
by the subject in general.

285
00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:47,255
How would you feel

286
00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:49,997
discussing it with a co-worker?

287
00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:52,390
Say-say me, for example.

288
00:10:54,305 --> 00:10:57,613
And now we know
conversations like that

289
00:10:57,744 --> 00:10:59,006
can cost you your job.

290
00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:01,661
You learn something new
every day.

291
00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:04,576
I think
First Corinthians 7:2

292
00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:07,318
is actually a pretty good
place to start.

293
00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:09,843
"Each man should have relations
with his own wife,

294
00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:11,496
and each woman
with her own husband."

295
00:11:11,627 --> 00:11:15,239
Yeah, I'm just not sure
quoting scripture

296
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:18,286
is the most exciting way
to engage.

297
00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:20,027
I was going more
for guilt and fear.

298
00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:22,420
Well, those are classics
for a reason.

299
00:11:22,551 --> 00:11:25,380
I just think that if we make
the fruit too forbidden,

300
00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:27,643
someone might want
to sneak a bite.

301
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,340
They look up to you.

302
00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:32,517
If you say that abstinence
is the way to go,

303
00:11:32,648 --> 00:11:33,693
they'll listen.

304
00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:36,173
Well, abstinence is important.

305
00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:38,349
But I also believe in honesty,

306
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,830
and abstinence
wasn't my journey.

307
00:11:40,961 --> 00:11:43,050
Oh.

308
00:11:44,616 --> 00:11:46,575
Well, that's none
of my business.

309
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,360
That's okay. I'm not saying I'm
proud of everything I've done,

310
00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:52,059
but, you know, I was young, the
mustache was just coming in...

311
00:11:52,189 --> 00:11:53,408
You could stop right there.

312
00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:55,584
Look, all I'm saying is,
I was a little wild,

313
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,586
but it's all part
of what led me to the Lord.

314
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,936
That is good to hear.

315
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,243
Actually, this is great.

316
00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:03,853
You can tell the kids
how you waited till marriage.

317
00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:07,161
I think it'll be really powerful
for them to hear your story.

318
00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:12,601
Uh-huh, right, right.

319
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:13,776
Right.

320
00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:16,257
Something seems not right.

321
00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:19,739
Um, it's just, um...

322
00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:23,917
I didn't wait

323
00:12:24,047 --> 00:12:26,746
all the way until marriage.

324
00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:28,617
Hey, none of my business.

325
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:29,966
Thank you.

326
00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:32,142
But I appreciate the honesty.

327
00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:38,279
Well, this just got
a little awkward.

328
00:12:38,409 --> 00:12:40,107
Yup. Yeah.

329
00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:41,630
All right, have a good one.

330
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,937
Okay. Oh...

331
00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:48,115
♪ We're in the money

332
00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:49,943
♪ We're in
the money ♪

333
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:53,860
♪ We've got a lot
of what it takes to get along ♪

334
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:56,384
♪ We're in the money...

335
00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:58,778
Oh!
Don't take all my money!

336
00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:02,607
I'm just a Texas grandma
trying to make people happy.

337
00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:05,915
♪ We never see a headline...

338
00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,656
Here you go.

339
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,964
Ooh, sweet bear.
I'll give you 20 bucks for it.

340
00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:12,835
♪ We can pay, oh

341
00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:13,967
♪ We're in the money...

342
00:13:14,097 --> 00:13:15,229
How we doing?

343
00:13:15,359 --> 00:13:16,839
There's a problem
with the cash box.

344
00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:17,840
Oh, what's that?

345
00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:19,842
I can't get it to close.

346
00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:21,801
That is my kind of problem.

347
00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:28,677
Pastor Rob.
Well, this is a surprise.

348
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,636
Sorry to show up unannounced.
Can we talk?

349
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:33,725
Of course. Come in.

350
00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:36,511
Everything okay?

351
00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:40,080
Yes, but I need tell you
something in confidence.

352
00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:43,431
No one's home.
It's just the two of us.

353
00:13:43,561 --> 00:13:44,998
That's what I was hoping.

354
00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:46,303
Oh, yeah.

355
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:49,219
Why are you in my bed?
Why are you?

356
00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:53,180
This is wrong.

357
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:55,747
Does it feel wrong?

358
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:57,837
No.

359
00:13:57,967 --> 00:14:00,361
Mary Cooper,

360
00:14:00,491 --> 00:14:02,189
I want to sex you up.

361
00:14:02,319 --> 00:14:05,018
I would like that very much.

362
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:07,063
♪ I wanna sex you up.

363
00:14:09,718 --> 00:14:13,243
Everything okay?
Yeah, I just, um...

364
00:14:13,374 --> 00:14:14,854
I had a weird dream.

365
00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:17,030
Must've been a doozy.

366
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,554
You're all sweaty.

367
00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:23,514
♪ I wanna sex you up.

368
00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:35,787
What a haul, huh?!

369
00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:37,441
Amazing.

370
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:39,574
Now what happens?

371
00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:42,185
I take it home,
pour it on the bed,

372
00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:43,970
and just roll around in it.

373
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,188
What about me?

374
00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,016
You just go home.

375
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:49,192
No. We're partners.

376
00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:51,978
First of all, we're
not partners, and second...

377
00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:55,024
Actually, "not partners"
covers it all pretty well.

378
00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:58,854
Fine. Good luck laundering
this money without me.

379
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:01,335
You know how to do that?

380
00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:03,119
I've seen Scarface,
like, ten times.

381
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,730
Great. I'll just watch Scarface.

382
00:15:05,861 --> 00:15:07,558
Dang it.

383
00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:12,128
Pastor Jeff, you wanted
to see me... Oh. Hello.

384
00:15:12,259 --> 00:15:15,088
Looks like we both got called
to the principal's office.

385
00:15:15,218 --> 00:15:17,133
Guess we've
been naughty.

386
00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:20,745
That's not a thing.

387
00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:21,790
You okay?

388
00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:24,053
Yeah, I just
didn't sleep too good.

389
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:27,100
Well, I didn't either. My phone
was ringing off the hook.

390
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:28,797
Apparently, this little talk

391
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,626
y'all were planning on giving
is causing quite the tizzy.

392
00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:34,411
A good tizzy?
There's no such thing
as a good tizzy.

393
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:35,935
There's only bad tizzies.

394
00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:37,937
You know who wasn't afraid
of causing a tizzy?

395
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:39,416
Yeah, yeah, Jesus,

396
00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:41,941
but He didn't get 14 messages
from angry parents

397
00:15:42,071 --> 00:15:43,464
on his answering machine.

398
00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:45,509
There was probably more,
but that little tape got full.

399
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:48,425
Yeah, people have had
some strong feelings,

400
00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:50,601
but I think if they
heard us out, they'd see

401
00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:52,864
we're not putting impure
thoughts in anyone's heads.

402
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:53,996
Right, Mary?

403
00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:56,912
No. I mean, I mean,
yes, we're not.

404
00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:58,044
I mean,

405
00:15:58,174 --> 00:15:59,741
if we're upsetting people,

406
00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:00,960
we should just back off.

407
00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:02,787
Exactly. The talk is off.

408
00:16:02,918 --> 00:16:04,964
I never want to talk
about the talk again.

409
00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:06,052
Hallelujah.

410
00:16:06,182 --> 00:16:07,488
If you'll excuse me,

411
00:16:07,618 --> 00:16:09,272
I have 14 phone calls to return.

412
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:11,927
Well, sorry this
didn't work out.

413
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:14,669
It's probably for the best.

414
00:16:16,149 --> 00:16:17,585
Do not look at his butt.

415
00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:19,065
Do not look.

416
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:21,197
Okay, do not look again.

417
00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:23,765
...the weather didn't finish
him off, you can bet that

418
00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:25,288
the polar bears did.

419
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:26,550
Not necessarily.

420
00:16:26,681 --> 00:16:27,987
Everything okay?
No.

421
00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:29,901
What's wrong?
Everyone's parents are upset

422
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:31,512
about the sex talk
Mom wants to give,

423
00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:32,992
and all my friends
are all blaming me.

424
00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:34,863
What? This wasn't your fault.

425
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,647
That didn't stop
Marjorie Jones from taking

426
00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:37,953
my seat at the
lunch table,

427
00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:38,998
and I also
got uninvited

428
00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:40,608
from two birthday parties.

429
00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:43,306
That's silly.
All you did was ask questions.

430
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:44,786
And it's ruining my life.

431
00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:47,180
I'm never talking
about sex ever again.

432
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:50,357
Well, all right.

433
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:56,276
Hey, there, Connie.

434
00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:57,668
What do you want?

435
00:16:57,799 --> 00:17:00,149
Is that any way to greet
an officer of the law?

436
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,933
Sorry.

437
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:03,152
What do you want?

438
00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:04,675
I hear you're
back in business.

439
00:17:04,806 --> 00:17:07,504
We're not breaking any laws.

440
00:17:07,635 --> 00:17:11,204
People are just
winning these prizes.

441
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:12,335
That you buy back
for cash.

442
00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:14,729
It's a gray area.

443
00:17:14,859 --> 00:17:16,644
Look, I-I'm not here to argue.

444
00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:20,474
At the risk of repeating myself,

445
00:17:20,604 --> 00:17:22,171
what do you want?

446
00:17:22,302 --> 00:17:25,435
I've heard that in
cash businesses

447
00:17:25,566 --> 00:17:27,176
such as this,

448
00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:29,004
that some owners
can benefit

449
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:31,615
by having a strong
relationship with their local

450
00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:33,878
police department.
What are you getting at?

451
00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:35,663
I'm just wondering

452
00:17:35,793 --> 00:17:39,188
if there's something you can do
to incur good will.

453
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:41,060
Are you shaking me down?
No.

454
00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:42,626
Are you hitting on me?

455
00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:44,150
No. Uh...

456
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,065
I'm just saying

457
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:48,371
I've heard some business owners

458
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:50,547
like to invest
in local law enforcement.

459
00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:52,071
You are shaking me down.

460
00:17:52,201 --> 00:17:54,247
It's a gray area.

461
00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:58,381
What kind of contribution
are we talking?

462
00:17:58,512 --> 00:18:00,427
well, that's up to you.

463
00:18:00,557 --> 00:18:02,516
Oh, I understand
that somewhere

464
00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:05,301
between nine
and 11% is popular.

465
00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:06,650
Ten percent?

466
00:18:06,781 --> 00:18:08,261
If you insist.

467
00:18:08,391 --> 00:18:09,914
How about three?

468
00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:11,394
Three what?

469
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:14,354
Three counts
of illegal gambling?

470
00:18:14,484 --> 00:18:16,007
Three years in jail?

471
00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:18,793
I'm paying you in quarters.

472
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:26,931
Missy, I know you're upset.
Would you like a hot beverage?

473
00:18:27,062 --> 00:18:28,411
Go away.

474
00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:31,110
Every culture has their taboos.

475
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:34,287
In the Ukraine,
it's rude to whistle indoors,

476
00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:35,810
and they're correct. Not a fan.

477
00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:37,116
In our society,

478
00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:40,119
any discussion
of human reproduction

479
00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:41,250
seems to be so upsetting,

480
00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:43,644
it causes nothing but chaos.

481
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:47,343
Lost jobs.

482
00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:51,826
Lost friends.

483
00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:55,134
Sleepless nights.

484
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:58,137
Even the word "sex" provokes
an uncomfortable reaction.

485
00:18:58,267 --> 00:19:00,356
I thought "fornicate"
might work,

486
00:19:00,487 --> 00:19:03,446
but that seemed too judgy.

487
00:19:03,577 --> 00:19:05,448
Then I found the perfect word,

488
00:19:05,579 --> 00:19:08,016
a word so bland and clinical

489
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,975
that it would be impossible
to take offense to it.

490
00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:13,195
"Coitus." That'll work.

491
00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:24,859
My little angel.

492
00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:32,867
Do you, Pastor Rob, take
Melissa Cooper to be your wife?

493
00:19:32,997 --> 00:19:33,998
Heck yeah.

494
00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:36,000
And do you, Melissa Cooper,

495
00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:37,785
take Pastor Rob
to be your husband?

496
00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:39,656
I totally do.

497
00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:41,528
I hereby pronounce you

498
00:19:41,658 --> 00:19:44,052
Mr. and Mrs. Youth Pastor Rob.

499
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,446
You may now take
the bride to Six Flags.

500
00:19:46,576 --> 00:19:48,230
Yay!
Yay!

501
00:19:57,065 --> 00:20:00,199
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502
00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:03,202
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503
00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:06,030
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504
00:20:06,161 --> 00:20:09,512
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